If you like……

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God help me I just got done watching Chris Rock……so in honor of the man himself. If you like :meow: marriage ain’t for you………

I am the type of person that enjoys going out on the town but I am also very comfortable staying in and snuggling up on the couch in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt watching a good movie or just talking.

What he means is, he’s lonely and he’d like to share his porn collection with you. Be prepared to watch him whack off.

I’m a ROMANTIC man and NO less! I will cook for her, shop with her, clean after her and then make LOVE to her

What he means is, he has incredibly submissive tendances and isn’t afraid to wipe your :moon:

i think that painting a women’s toenails is one of the coolest romantic things you can do for a woman.

What he’s really saying? “I have a foot fetish. And I will lick your dirty toes.”

If you love :memememe: -jobs, marriage ain’t for you

I really enjoy the company of a mature woman. …If you’re between 45-70 and interested in a younger man, drop me a line and let’s get together.

What he’s really saying? “I want to roll around on your wrinkles. And I want you to support my lazy ass.” Ew :crazy:

I’m 30 yrs old…swm…5’7″ tall, 175 lbs, stocky build kind of like Garth Brooks, and moustache and goatee.

Um I’m real sorry to break this to you sugar but 5’7 and 175 isn’t stocky it’s fat!

37 wht male uSArmy guy seeking a sexy BBW, SSBBW, BiBBW. … I am openminded, outgoing and love alittle kink in my life

I find this scary in ways I can’t find the words to explain. I wonder if he likes to be bounced on?? :memememe:

I’m looking for someone that is sweet and caring, and wants something real.

You know what? I’m gonna write a personal ad and put every mean thing I can think of in it.
I’m not nice. and I sure as hell ain’t sweet.
I get terrible PMS — when this happens I suggest you just drop the chocolate and coke on the porch and RUN FAR AWAY.
I have cellulite, fat rolls and stretch marks.
I’m a terrible housekeeper.
I hate to cook. Because I hate to make decissions. I make decissions all the time so I won’t write you. I’ll let you decide to write me.
I forget to pay the bills.
I love going without makeup on the weekends even though I look horrible
I can’t dance but I do occasionally exhibit some signs of having rythym.
I have a terrible habit of listening to the same CD over and over again–drives the kids nuts.
I’m selfish and I don’t want to give up all my free time to devote to a relationship. I just want a steady monogamous, friendly mutually satisfying :woohoo:
Drop me a line. I probably won’t answer! :memememe:

What do ya’ll think?

11 thoughts on “If you like……

  1. I can’t help it…

    I’m imagining some dude posting this on his blog & saying, “look at what THIS one wrote!!” 😯

    (and wouldn’t you be surprised if you met a great guy through this??!). 😎

  2. LMAO!! Not sure where you’re getting these, but it’s the personal ads at the back of the tabloids that are really scary. :yell:

  3. Still haven’t had a cigarette I see. :leo:

    SWM iso SWF.
    Celibacy is highly overrated. Someone once told me that being celibate allows you to channel your energies toward more important pursuits. I found just the opposite, the lack of occupation with sex lead to a preoccupation with sex. Lately it’s all I can think about. I’m sure you’re a warm, sensitive, vivacious woman, but until I get laid I won’t notice anything except your tits and ass. Want to help me see the real you? Call 555-6969

  4. Jaq…….tabloids would require reading the paper.

    Mark….the key to writing great sex scenes? Sexual tension. I’m really really tense. :memememe: